Why did the clock go to therapy?

It had too much time on its hands and started ticking off everyone around it. The therapist suggested it try to unwind, but the clock insisted it was wound up too tight to change. I guess some things are just set in their ways, like my uncle who refuses to use a smartphone because he says the old rotary phone has more character.

Did you hear about the mountain that got arrested?

They charged it with being a peak offender, always rising above the law. In court, the mountain didn’t even try to defend itself, just stood there silently. The judge, fed up with its attitude, sentenced it to a lifetime in the valley. But the mountain didn’t mind; it said it was tired of the high life anyway. Reminds me of my friend who quit his high-flying job to become a gardener. He says he’s never been happier, even if his hands are always dirty.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

“Stop stealing my sand! I’m running out of shore material.” The beach just laughed and said, “You’re just salty because I’m more popular with the tourists.” So the ocean, in a huff, decided to go on a ‘current’ events strike, refusing to make any more waves. Now the beach is worried it might get too quiet and people will stop coming. Kind of like how my cousin stopped posting on social media and now everyone’s forgotten about him.