Why do we call it “falling in love”? Because when you’re in love, you’re constantly falling for their tricks and traps. But unlike a skydiver, you don’t have a parachute to save you from the crash landing.

Some say that marriage is like a prison. But I beg to differ. In prison, you get time off for good behavior. In marriage, you’re serving a life sentence with no chance of parole.

My friend’s new girlfriend is so high-maintenance, she makes a sports car look like a bicycle. But at least with a sports car, you can trade it in for a newer model when it starts giving you trouble.

They say that laughter is the best medicine. But if that’s the case, why do we still have hospitals? I think we should replace all the doctors with stand-up comedians. Sure, the diagnosis might be a punchline, but at least the treatment would be a lot more fun.