A man once asked me if love is blind. I told him, “If love were truly blind, it wouldn’t keep stumbling over the same old arguments.”

My friend complained about his tiny apartment, saying it felt like a prison. I said, “At least in prison, you get three square meals and don’t have to pay rent. Plus, you’ve got a built-in excuse for not going to work.”

I overheard someone say that money can’t buy happiness. I thought, “Sure, but have you ever seen someone frown on a jet ski? Besides, if money can’t buy happiness, at least it can rent it for a while.”

My neighbor bragged about his new sports car, saying it was the fastest thing on four wheels. I replied, “That’s nothing. My grandma’s scooter may look slow, but it’s been lapping the retirement home for decades without a single breakdown.”

Someone asked me what’s the secret to a long, happy marriage. I said, “It’s simple: separate bathrooms and a sense of humor. If you can laugh at your partner’s snoring instead of plotting their mysterious disappearance, you’re golden.”