Why do people say that love is blind? Maybe it’s because love wears sunglasses all the time, even at night. I once asked a heartbroken friend if he wanted to borrow my love’s sunglasses, but he said he’d rather see clearly and move on.

Speaking of moving on, I heard that the Earth is tired of rotating around the Sun. It applied for a job as a satellite, but was rejected because it was overqualified. The Earth was devastated and decided to take a break, so it started spinning slower. Now, we have longer days and shorter nights. It’s like the Earth is saying, “I need some time to reflect on my life choices.”

On the topic of life choices, I saw a man struggling to decide between buying a new car or a new phone. I told him, “Why not buy a car that can make phone calls? That way, you can have the best of both worlds.” He looked at me like I was crazy and said, “But I want to be able to text while driving!” I replied, “Well, I guess you’ll have to buy a car with a built-in keyboard and a really good insurance policy.”

Lastly, I was at the grocery store and saw a sign that said, “Buy one, get one free on bananas.” I thought to myself, “What a deal! I can finally start my banana stand empire.” So, I bought a million bananas and started distributing them to people on the street. When the police came to stop me, I told them, “I’m just trying to spread some potassium love in the world!” They let me go with a warning and a free banana.