Why do we call it falling in love? Because it feels like jumping off a cliff, hoping the other person is a parachute. But if they’re not, you end up splattered on the ground of heartbreak, wishing you had packed your own safety net.

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I once asked a dog why he chases his tail. He looked at me and said, “I’m just practicing for when I need to catch my dreams. They’re always just out of reach, but that doesn’t stop me from trying.” I guess even dogs know that persistence is key, even if it makes them look silly.

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My friend told me he’s on a seafood diet. I asked him what that meant, and he said, “I see food, and I eat it.” I told him that’s not a diet; that’s a lifestyle choice. He laughed and said, “Well, it’s working for me. I’m gaining weight and losing money, so I must be doing something right.”

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They say money can’t buy happiness, but have you tried buying a yacht? I mean, floating on water with the sun on your face and a drink in your hand sounds pretty happy to me. And if it doesn’t work, you can always sell the yacht and buy a smaller boat. Happiness is all about finding the right size for your wallet.

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I saw a man walking his pet rock the other day. I asked him why he chose a rock over a dog or a cat, and he said, “Well, rocks don’t need food, water, or exercise. They’re the perfect pet for someone who wants companionship without the responsibility.” I guess even inanimate objects can teach us a thing or two about life.