Why do some people think that the bigger the TV, the happier they are? Maybe it’s because they believe that the size of their TV directly correlates with the size of their problems disappearing. I once saw a man so proud of his new 100-inch TV that he invited it to his family dinner. The TV sat there, mute but glowing, while the family argued about whose turn it was to change the channel. I guess even TVs need a little control in life.

I heard that a friend of mine decided to live in his car to save on rent. He said it was liberating, like being a snail with a really cool shell. But then, he got a ticket for parking illegally. I asked him, “Isn’t living in your car supposed to be about freedom?” He replied, “Yeah, but freedom also comes with its own set of fines and regulations.” I guess freedom isn’t free, even for a snail.

Someone once told me that the secret to a long life is to eat healthy and exercise regularly. But then I saw a 90-year-old man smoking a cigar and drinking whiskey, claiming that his secret was to enjoy life to the fullest. I asked him, “Isn’t that supposed to shorten your lifespan?” He chuckled and said, “Well, son, life’s a gamble. You either enjoy the ride or worry about the destination.” I guess the real secret to life is finding what makes you happy, even if it’s not what the doctor ordered.

I once met a woman who was so dedicated to her job that she brought her work home with her. She said it was because her work was her life. But then, her cat started answering her emails, and her plants were doing her spreadsheets. I guess when your work becomes your life, even your household items want a piece of the action.